Part 1:
It's often hard for people without sensory issues to understand what it's like for those that do. In my own home, my children that do not have a sensory problem have a hard time understanding the ones that do.
I don't know if this is just a two-year old thing or a precursor of things to come but our two year old has been wanting to be naked or sometimes not wanting to wear certain clothing, not wanting to eat foods he used to eat, not wanting to play with things he loved to play with and so on. Navigating the day with him has been quite a challenge. Then add potty-training on top of that, a very sensory overloading process as I have just learned, and we are MeltdownsRus.
After spending weeks of complete chaos, meltdowns (by both child and myself) and frustration, I decided I needed to make concessions and be flexible. That's really hard when your child insists on being naked and you insist the he wear clothes in order to go in public. Damn those societal conventions!
I decided that he needed choices. I know, at two, do they really need choices? In a word, YES. So when he gets up in the morning and doesn't want to wear clothes, I hold up a few things, mostly a few different types/colors of underwear or pants and ask him which one. He points and we are on our merry way. Well, except when I don't have what he wants to wear. Essentially this works most of the time. I have decided that as long as his bottom is covered, and we aren't going anywhere, he doesn't have to wear a shirt. Now I keep my house cold and that doesn't seem to bother him and I am honestly too tired and busty to be a helicopter parent so if he wants to go without a shirt, let him be cold and learn about it on his own terms.
Brushing his teeth is another struggle. Can I just tell you that it took me months to figure out he didn't like the toothpaste? He doesn't like the gritty texture of toothpastes. Yeah, apparently he has a favorite brand, Jason with the Octopus on it, and it's only sold at Whole Foods around here. And by "around here" I mean Whole Foods is 30 minutes away. The tube normally costs $6.00, but ended up costing me $55.00 because we found some other cool stuff there and then factor is gas for a Suburban. Cha-ching, the things we do for love, or less meltdowns.
Okay, back on topic, getting the right toothpaste was the answer, or so I thought. My two year old is a routine child meaning he likes things in a set routine and done a certain way. Unless he thinks it should be changed. When it was time to brush his teeth, because we had been out of routine for months, he didn't want to brush after the first night. Apparently it was a novelty the first night. That's where outwitting him came into play. I just offered him three choices of toothbrushes. One that spins, and two that are manual, one with Jessie and Bullseye on it and the other is plain. Tooth brushing issues solved, for now.
Don't get me started on food. Oops, too late! We used to have "safe" foods. You know, the foods he would eat no matter what. Yeah, not so much anymore. The only safe foods, if you can call liquids food, are milk with liquid coffee creamer in it, tea, orange juice, American cheese, and mozzarella cheese sticks. These are the only consistent foods in his diet. I almost bought McDonald's because for weeks all he would eat was their chicken nuggets. I won't even tell you about the time I tried to make them. Let's just say, TOTAL disaster and the smoke alarms went off.
So we play it day-by-day and I celebrate the small victories like eating applesauce, yogurt and crackers. Those may not be what he eats tomorrow but for today, they work. And, if I can get him to at least wear something on his cute little butt, I am victorious!
Showing posts with label speech delay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speech delay. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
"He's socially retarded".....
First I want to say, I hate the misuse of the word Retarded. Like so many words in our vocabulary, this one has been taken and convoluted to become a word of hate and ignorance. I cringe when I hear people using it. My son's school, the Norwich Free Academy, recently did a great presentation seen here: Norwich Free Academy R Word Campaign
My 17 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. It's sometimes hard to explain what it is. Someone once described it to me as he's socially retarded. From the time my son was very little, I knew something was off but because I was a young mom with three kids by the age of 22, I was just seen as what's often referred to as "a breeder". You know, a person who has a lot of kids at a young age. I was discounted because they thought I was just needing attention. That I was a hypochondriac. So, I gave up on fighting but only for a little while.
When my son was a baby he was almost always content. He didn't crawl normally, he did a combat type crawl, he didn't walk until almost 18 months old, he had a speech delay and he was obsessed (read crazily, insanely obsessed) with dinosaurs. As soon as he could say Paleontologist, that's what he told people he wanted to be.
When my son started school some things we noticed were almost innocuous but they just didn't sit right with me. He did math "out-of-the-box" as his first grade teacher described it and he couldn't spell no matter what. Or so we thought. Turns out, he just couldn't spell on paper. When he was given an oral test, he could spell almost all the words. I tried to get his teachers to understand this but they didn't want to hear it. He was later diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder. Common in kids with Asperger's. He didn't understand sarcasm. For example, his third grade teacher once asked her class "What are some things money can do?" and all the kids responded with buy things. My son about came out of his seat with excitement because he knew something money could do that no one else had mentioned. When called upon by his teacher he excitedly proclaimed "Mrs. Ramsey, did you know money can burn a hole in your pocket?" and he was DEAD serious! She had to turn around to laugh because he was that serious and because if he saw her laugh, he would cry. He didn't like it when people laughed at what he did. Even if it wasn't making fun of him, he took it that way.
When my son started middle school, that is when things became glaringly apparent. He could not connect socially with his peer group any longer. We were seeing a psychologist at the time and he was in counseling and they said he had ADHD and depression. So onto meds he went. Not because I wanted him to take them but because I wanted him to be able to function.
He had always struggled with organization and could never turn in his homework because he could never find it. Another common trait amongst Aspergian's. Unfortunately, he almost failed 7th grade because of that so I pulled him out and home schooled him. He was testing into college at this point in everything except Language Arts and mostly because he had to write things. There are fewer bubble tests, or multiple choice questions in Language Arts. His handwriting was so poor. It still is.
So the catalyst for him being diagnosed with Asperger's was not what you would think. It did not come from all the countless meetings at schools with their Special Education Department, or from the Psychologist or from a therapist. After 14 years, it came from me channel surfing. Yep, channel surfing. One of the thing my husband hates that I do actually is what got my son diagnosed.
I happened to be channel surfing while the show I was watching was on commercial break. I happened to flip over to a channel that had one of the Hollywood new shows on like Entertainment Tonight or Extra or something like that. There was a girl on there talking. Her name was Heather Kuzmich and she had just been kicked off America's Next Top Model. She was talking about how she didn't do well in social situations and didn't like to be touched or like certain textures. Bells started going off in my head. OMGOSH, she is talking about my son! That's when I started researching. That was around November of 2007.
It took 8 months to get my son diagnosed by a Developmental Pediatrician and Child Psychologist. I went through hours of frustration with this man. He actually asked me if I was one of those parents that was just unhappy with the fact that my kid wasn't a straight-Student. I was so mad I cried, an unfortunate problem I have and hate. I told him I would be happy if my son brought home an F if his teacher said he was doing the best he could. Apparently that appeased him because he became nicer after that.
Needless to say, it took 14 years and a lot of frustration. I was humiliated on many occasions and I almost gave up. Heather's diagnosis and testimony lead to my son being finally diagnosed and my son's diagnosis helped a friend realize her son too has the same disorder.
All I can say is NEVER give up. If you believe with all your heart and mind that something is not right and if you gut tells you the same thing, chances are, you are probably right. No matter what, stick to your guns! I can tell you that I had a Special Education Superintendent sit with my son for 5 minutes and actually ask me on a scale of one to ten, how convinced was I that my son had Asperger's. Yes, really! I told her that since a Developmental Pediatrician and Child Psychologist of over 35 years of experience diagnosed him, I would say about a nine and a half. She STILL did not believe me and sent my son for testing. No shocker when it came back as him having Asperger's!
Above all else I will tell you that if your child has special needs, fight like you have never fought before and DO YOUR RESEARCH! Educate yourself so you can educate those that aren't. Be your child's best advocate.
My son is about to graduate high school. I love the school he is in. They have great Special Education resources and a great team of facilitators willing to make the necessary accommodations for my child to succeed. No, he is not an A student, although if he turned in his homework he would be, but I am happy he has made it this far. And for the record, he plans to go into the Culinary Field and has already been accepted into college. So much for Paleontology, right?
My 17 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. It's sometimes hard to explain what it is. Someone once described it to me as he's socially retarded. From the time my son was very little, I knew something was off but because I was a young mom with three kids by the age of 22, I was just seen as what's often referred to as "a breeder". You know, a person who has a lot of kids at a young age. I was discounted because they thought I was just needing attention. That I was a hypochondriac. So, I gave up on fighting but only for a little while.
When my son was a baby he was almost always content. He didn't crawl normally, he did a combat type crawl, he didn't walk until almost 18 months old, he had a speech delay and he was obsessed (read crazily, insanely obsessed) with dinosaurs. As soon as he could say Paleontologist, that's what he told people he wanted to be.
When my son started school some things we noticed were almost innocuous but they just didn't sit right with me. He did math "out-of-the-box" as his first grade teacher described it and he couldn't spell no matter what. Or so we thought. Turns out, he just couldn't spell on paper. When he was given an oral test, he could spell almost all the words. I tried to get his teachers to understand this but they didn't want to hear it. He was later diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder. Common in kids with Asperger's. He didn't understand sarcasm. For example, his third grade teacher once asked her class "What are some things money can do?" and all the kids responded with buy things. My son about came out of his seat with excitement because he knew something money could do that no one else had mentioned. When called upon by his teacher he excitedly proclaimed "Mrs. Ramsey, did you know money can burn a hole in your pocket?" and he was DEAD serious! She had to turn around to laugh because he was that serious and because if he saw her laugh, he would cry. He didn't like it when people laughed at what he did. Even if it wasn't making fun of him, he took it that way.
When my son started middle school, that is when things became glaringly apparent. He could not connect socially with his peer group any longer. We were seeing a psychologist at the time and he was in counseling and they said he had ADHD and depression. So onto meds he went. Not because I wanted him to take them but because I wanted him to be able to function.
He had always struggled with organization and could never turn in his homework because he could never find it. Another common trait amongst Aspergian's. Unfortunately, he almost failed 7th grade because of that so I pulled him out and home schooled him. He was testing into college at this point in everything except Language Arts and mostly because he had to write things. There are fewer bubble tests, or multiple choice questions in Language Arts. His handwriting was so poor. It still is.
So the catalyst for him being diagnosed with Asperger's was not what you would think. It did not come from all the countless meetings at schools with their Special Education Department, or from the Psychologist or from a therapist. After 14 years, it came from me channel surfing. Yep, channel surfing. One of the thing my husband hates that I do actually is what got my son diagnosed.
I happened to be channel surfing while the show I was watching was on commercial break. I happened to flip over to a channel that had one of the Hollywood new shows on like Entertainment Tonight or Extra or something like that. There was a girl on there talking. Her name was Heather Kuzmich and she had just been kicked off America's Next Top Model. She was talking about how she didn't do well in social situations and didn't like to be touched or like certain textures. Bells started going off in my head. OMGOSH, she is talking about my son! That's when I started researching. That was around November of 2007.
It took 8 months to get my son diagnosed by a Developmental Pediatrician and Child Psychologist. I went through hours of frustration with this man. He actually asked me if I was one of those parents that was just unhappy with the fact that my kid wasn't a straight-Student. I was so mad I cried, an unfortunate problem I have and hate. I told him I would be happy if my son brought home an F if his teacher said he was doing the best he could. Apparently that appeased him because he became nicer after that.
Needless to say, it took 14 years and a lot of frustration. I was humiliated on many occasions and I almost gave up. Heather's diagnosis and testimony lead to my son being finally diagnosed and my son's diagnosis helped a friend realize her son too has the same disorder.
All I can say is NEVER give up. If you believe with all your heart and mind that something is not right and if you gut tells you the same thing, chances are, you are probably right. No matter what, stick to your guns! I can tell you that I had a Special Education Superintendent sit with my son for 5 minutes and actually ask me on a scale of one to ten, how convinced was I that my son had Asperger's. Yes, really! I told her that since a Developmental Pediatrician and Child Psychologist of over 35 years of experience diagnosed him, I would say about a nine and a half. She STILL did not believe me and sent my son for testing. No shocker when it came back as him having Asperger's!
Above all else I will tell you that if your child has special needs, fight like you have never fought before and DO YOUR RESEARCH! Educate yourself so you can educate those that aren't. Be your child's best advocate.
My son is about to graduate high school. I love the school he is in. They have great Special Education resources and a great team of facilitators willing to make the necessary accommodations for my child to succeed. No, he is not an A student, although if he turned in his homework he would be, but I am happy he has made it this far. And for the record, he plans to go into the Culinary Field and has already been accepted into college. So much for Paleontology, right?
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